Dallin Crump

humor

Taco Bell recently announced a new taco subscription service.

This evening my family had delicious homemade tacos for dinner, so naturally the topic of the taco subscription came up. I remembered seeing a headline about it somewhere, but none of us had looked into the details. So we started speculating what the taco subscription might be like based on what we know about streaming subscription services. Here are the results:

  • If you are willing to pay more, you can get a fast food subscription bundle that also includes KFC, Pizza Hut, and The Habit Burger Grill.
  • You can set up taco profiles for each member of your family.
  • You can set up parental controls in case you don't want your kids eating tacos that are too spicy.
  • If you pay for the cheaper plan, you get tacos with ads printed on the shells.
  • As you eat more tacos, your taco eating habits are tracked and analyzed. This is so they can suggest the best possible tacos according to your tastes and serve targeted taco shell ads to you.
  • You can only eat your tacos in approved locations.
  • The kind of taco you have been eating every day might disappear from the menu with or without warning. It will then appear on the menu of TacoTime or Del Taco.
  • Some tacos are not available all at once. You can only get a piece of the taco during one visit, then you have to return another day to get the next piece.
  • Some tacos may be incomplete. They can be cancelled before they are finished.
  • You can take your tacos with you to eat later, but you must keep them in a special container that you have to purchase separately. If you don't eat your tacos within 24 hours of picking them up, they disappear.
  • There is an older subscription option where you can receive tacos in the mail. You can only have 1 or 2 at a time, then you must send the containers back to receive the next tacos in your queue.

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