For a long time – at least a decade and a half – I have been learning about and gaining greater understanding of the problems with Big Tech and how pervasive it is in our lives. I have tried numerous times to move away from using proprietary, corporate-controlled technology but have always been drawn back to using it for one reason or another, burying my concerns in the dark recesses of my mind. But recent events have drawn those concerns again to the forefront of my thoughts. And I feel a great sense of urgency to try to adopt and use freer technologies.

That's a line from the movie (based on the book by the same name), The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. I only recently watched it for the first time. As I wrestled with the decision of whether or not to quit Twitch, this line resonated with me when I heard it.

I no longer refer to people who watch my Twitch channel as a “community.” I call them viewers or friends, but I don't think it's accurate or helpful to refer to them as a community.

If you've read my previous blog posts, you know that I have long been concerned about the effect modern technology – especially smartphones – has had on me and on humanity in general. I have written about doing media fasts, cutting back my technology use, privacy and security, making sure you use your technology intentionally and that it doesn't use you, and other related topics. Well, I'm somewhat embarrassed to say that over the past 18 months, I have been “off the wagon” when it comes to technology addiction. But for a few weeks now I've been trying something that is helping me snap out of it (again). And I need to share my experience if only to show solidarity with others who are going through this same thing.

I haven't been in a good place mentally or emotionally the past several weeks. In most of my free time I played video games or watched TV and had no desire to do much of anything else. Aside from alternating feelings of anxiousness and guilt, I felt mostly numb.