That's a line from the movie (based on the book by the same name), The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. I only recently watched it for the first time. As I wrestled with the decision of whether or not to quit Twitch, this line resonated with me when I heard it.

I no longer refer to people who watch my Twitch channel as a “community.” I call them viewers or friends, but I don't think it's accurate or helpful to refer to them as a community.

I spent weeks thinking (agonizing) about, drafting, and re-drafting a post on why I was going to quit Twitch. I almost posted it this week, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. And then I decided to stream last night and was reminded of the tremendous potential of the streaming experience to be a good and positive influence in the lives of others.

It's interesting the things you come across online when you wake up in the middle of the night. For some reason at 2:30am today, my half-conscious-but-apparently-not-tired-enough-to-sleep brain decided to search Startpage for “boycott Twitch” and discovered there is an actual Amazon boycott starting today. I took that as a sign. I'm joining the boycott. I won't be streaming on Twitch this week.

I can't shake a feeling I've had since before Easter.

Sometimes I can almost forget it. But like my tinnitus, it's always there when I stop and think about it.

It feels like a chapter of my life may be ending. And I feel...mournful. Sad.

I started watching Twitch again after taking a break for 7 weeks. It's only been a few days, but I think it's causing me to slip back into old thought patterns and habits. I need to cut way back and limit myself to specific streams and times. Or stop watching altogether.

As part of my continuing efforts to align what I'm doing on Twitch with my values and purpose, I have renamed my Twitch stream/account from “Newfangled_” to “PositiveNotes”. You can tune in at https://twitch.tv/positivenotes

I posted about this on the The Newfangled Gazette if you'd like a more detailed explanation, but I thought I'd share a post here, since this blog is where all future updates related to my broadcasting endeavors will be posted.