Is it Good to be Alone?
As part of my responsibilities as a lay minister in my church, I help lead the youth age 12 to 17. We have weekly youth activities and yesterday we went Christmas caroling in a 55+ community in our neighborhood.
We split into two groups and each group had a list of elderly people to visit – mostly widows and single ladies. At each home we sang a few carols and presented them with a little gift bag of treats.
A few of them asked us to come inside and they were all so sweet and appreciative of our visit.
And you could also sense the great loneliness that these sweet ladies experience every day – especially around the holidays. Some of them don't have any close family around. One even said she was going to be alone for Christmas.
AARP recently published an article about how the number of older Americans living alone is growing. In fact, they say 21% of Americans age 50 and older – 24 million people – live by themselves.
From the article:
In 1950, just 9 percent of all U.S. adults lived by themselves. Now 1 in 5 Americans ages 50 to 54, about 1 in 3 ages 55 to 74 and half of those age 75-plus are aging on their own, according to U.S. Census data. By 2038, the majority of people age 80 and older — about 10 million — will be solo agers, Harvard University experts estimate.
The article goes on to explain the different factors at work behind these numbers, but it looks like this trend isn't going to be reversed any time soon.
Is this a good or bad thing? It's a mixed bag. Many elderly folks who live alone seem to enjoy the freedom, autonomy, and independence, but many are also lonely, anxious, and overwhelmed.
My 75-year-old father lives alone 1,600 miles away from me. I'm fortunate enough to be able to visit him a few times a year because the company I work for is based where he lives. He seems to be happy enough, and he has a part-time job that he loves, but he is slowing down and is having more health challenges. He has nobody visiting or checking in on him regularly. His knees are getting so bad that if he fell, he'd likely not be able to get back up without help.
Dad knows that he'll eventually need more assistance – that he will likely need to relocate to be closer to family. But even then, he'd probably be living by himself and someone would be checking in on him.
I'm a pretty introverted person. I value my alone time. I need a lot of it. But I also need people. If I didn't live with my wife and son, I know I'd feel terribly lonely.
Every one of the sweet ladies we visited and sang Christmas carols to last night – they were overcome with emotion. They were very open with us about how our visit made them feel: loved, appreciated, seen. None of them wanted us to go away so soon. It broke my heart.
I don't think living alone is a bad thing. But we all need people in our lives so that living alone isn't lonely.
Is there someone you know who lives alone? A family member, loved one, neighbor? Stop by for a visit sometime. Just to say hello. Ask them how they are doing. It will make their day – and yours – a little brighter. Especially around Christmas.
#100DaysToOffload (No. 116) #Christmas #life #loneliness