We Go Where We're Looking
Today was Stake Conference in my LDS stake. That meant we didn't have 8:30am ward meetings and a 1pm conference meeting instead. So it presented an opportunity for me to attend my first Sunday Mass at my local Catholic parish at 10am.
I've attended Sunday Mass several times with my mother and step-dad at their parish, and I've gone to a few Saturday evening ones at mine, but I wanted to see what a Sunday Mass was like here.
It was well-attended, with lovely music, and beautifully-presented liturgy. The homily today was based mostly on the Gospel reading today, which was the “Parable of the Ten Virgins” from Matthew 25:1-13.
Jesus told his disciples this parable: “The kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones, when taking their lamps, brought no oil with them, but the wise brought flasks of oil with their lamps. Since the bridegroom was long delayed, they all became drowsy and fell asleep. At midnight, there was a cry, 'Behold, the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!' Then all those virgins got up and trimmed their lamps. The foolish ones said to the wise, 'Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.' But the wise ones replied, 'No, for there may not be enough for us and you. Go instead to the merchants and buy some for yourselves.' While they went off to buy it, the bridegroom came and those who were ready went into the wedding feast with him. Then the door was locked. Afterwards the other virgins came and said, 'Lord, Lord, open the door for us!' But he said in reply, 'Amen, I say to you, I do not know you.' Therefore, stay awake, for you know neither the day nor the hour.”
Father Shumway focused most of his remarks on being prepared for death and the role of Catholic Priests in performing the Sacrament of Anointing of the Sick for people who are gravely ill. It was a good homily and I learned a lot about the importance of this sacrament to Catholics.
I went to my LDS Stake Conference this afternoon thinking about that parable and its many meanings and symbolisms. Many of the talks given at this meeting were centered around the theme of keeping our focus on Jesus Christ.
As one speaker remarked, “we tend to go where we're looking,” and that seemed to encapsulate the theme nicely.
Are we looking – or trying to look – to Jesus Christ? Or is our gaze drawn elsewhere? (The answer to both questions for me is yes, but I'm trying to do better.)
It also got me thinking about the state of my own faith journey. I'm in this weird stage where I'm pretty seriously investigating Catholicism but still an actively practicing Latter-day Saint.
I am trying to take my time with my exploration of Catholicism because I know my personality. I tend to become fixated on things to the point of obsession, and I need to know for sure that this isn't just some other fixation.
Am I drawn towards Catholicism because that's where I've been looking much of the time for the past year? Because it's novel and new and exciting? When the novelty wears off, will I feel the same? Or is there something more, something real that is drawing me there?
One other thing from Stake Conference today. One of the speakers openly said he struggles with doubts about some things regarding Joseph Smith, church history, and church policy, but that as he keeps his focus on Jesus Christ, he feels peace and reassurance. It was refreshing for me to hear that, as I can absolutely relate.
So I will keep trying to look to Jesus Christ in the midst of this weird faith journey of mine. And I trust that I'll eventually go where I'm looking.
#100DaysToOffload (No. 197) #faith #Christianity