~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer, German theologian, pastor, anti-Nazi dissident (1906 – 1945)

#100DaysToOffload (No. 193) #quotes #faith #Christianity

I didn't go to church today. I'm still not feeling well after dealing with a mysterious illness this past week and I didn't want to risk being out in public or feeling suddenly worse in the middle of church. So I decided to watch “Music and the Spoken Word,” the weekly broadcast of The Tabernacle Choir at Temple Square.

They had The Orchestra at Temple Square accompanying them today and, as always, the music, performance, and message were inspired. It had been a while since I last watched the program live. I've usually been in church meetings of one sort or another.

The piece that stood out to me today was a sublime arrangement of “Wayfarin' Stranger” arranged by Mack Wilberg, one of the choir's conductors. This very well-known tune was set to a lush orchestral background, the choir singing with a sense of wonder and wistfulness. A lone recorder playing the melody at times evoked an ancient feeling of longing, of yearning for God.

Visually, shots of the choir and orchestra were interspersed with video footage of individuals hiking and walking in various locations, through woods, over bridges and mountains. Scenes of this beautiful world.

I was enthralled. My thoughts and feelings were drawn heavenward. It was an emotional few minutes. A brief ray of light breaking through clouds of sickness and worry. A moment when I felt close to God.

Music has always been an important part of my life. But its power to resonate within our very being never ceases to amaze me.

Discuss...

#100DaysToOffload (No. 192) #music #faith

I think this question really has another question implied within it. It's not just about whether we can know if we've been forgiven, but also about whether we can know if we have truly repented. Even if forgiveness is certain, it will be of little consequence if we have not repented. We'll just go and commit the same sin again.

Latter-day Saints have a scripture that is pretty clear on the repentance question:

Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more. By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them. (D&C 58:42-43)

For Latter-day Saints, confessing sins usually means admitting to yourself that you have sinned and confessing your sins to God in sincere prayer. And in cases of serious sin, confessing it to the bishop of your ward.

To forsake a sin is more than just not committing the sin again. It's renouncing it. Abandoning it. Turning entirely away from it.

Our internal disposition has much to do with the process of repentance, of course, and it is important. But for Latter-day Saints, confessing and forsaking our sins is a sure way to know whether one has repented.

Now about the forgiveness question. In my last post about this, I was fixated on one aspect of the LDS perspective – that we can know God has forgiven us when we have truly repented (see above) and when we feel feelings of peace and joy through the Holy Spirit. I think that can be true, but I worry that feelings can also be misleading – that we can “feel” we have been forgiven when we truly haven't.

And so I have been interested in the Catholic sacrament of Reconciliation. From the Catholic perspective, when you confess your sins to a Catholic priest acting on behalf of Jesus Christ and he pronounces the words of absolution, you are truly forgiven, whether you feel you are forgiven or not. I find that certainty of God's forgiveness appealing.

But as I attended my LDS sacrament meeting today, as we prepared to partake of the Sacrament (of the Lord's Supper), I had a powerful moment of realization: the Sacrament is what provides certainty of God's forgiveness for Latter-day Saints.

LDS believe that partaking of the Sacrament constitutes a renewal of the covenants you have made with God, including the covenant of baptism for the remission of sins. In fact, LDS often mention specifically in sacrament meeting talks and prayers that the Sacrament represents a renewal of the baptismal covenant.

A very basic way to think about a covenant from a LDS perspective is that it is a two-way promise between us and God.

LDS believe that when we are baptized, we covenant with God to:

• Take upon ourselves the name of Jesus Christ
• Keep God's commandments
• Serve God and others

And God covenants with us that:

• His Holy Spirit will always be with us
• Our sins are forgiven through the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ

Catholics believe Reconciliation is a tangible, outward act providing certainty that God has forgiven you of sins, regardless of whether or not you feel forgiven. For Latter-day Saints, the ordinance of the Sacrament (of the Lord's Supper), in conjunction with sincere repentance, provides that same certainty.

Discuss...

#100DaysToOffload (No. 186) #faith #Christianity

This blog is all over the place topic-wise on purpose. I figured I could just write about whatever I felt like and the Topics page and the hashtags would allow folks to follow the topics they were interested in and ignore the topics they aren't so interested in.

I did it this way to make it easier for me, but I worry that it's not so easy for readers to follow this way, especially those subscribed via email. Maybe it's off-putting to some readers to see blog posts about prayer alongside blog posts about the latest Linux distro I'm trying.

I've wanted to write more about my faith journey, but I've been trying to maintain a balance for the sake of those who might actually be paying attention to the blog – to not saturate it too much with one topic and neglect the others people might be interested in.

I know I shouldn't care. It's my blog, why not write whatever I want? Well...I do care. I do think about how what I write might impact the handful of people that read it. It's a public blog, after all, not a private journal.

I'll keep thinking about it for a bit. But I'm leaning towards starting up my “Newfangled” blog again. I'd be posting about tech, music, and nerdy stuff over there, and keeping the deeper topics like philosophy and faith over here.

Discuss...

#100DaysToOffload (No. 184) #writing #faith #tech

#100DaysToOffload (No. 180) #prayer #faith #quotes

The Pharisees once asked Jesus if it was lawful to pay taxes to Caesar (Matthew 22:15-21). Jesus responded by asking them whose image was on the Roman coin used to pay the taxes. They replied that the image was Caesar's. And Jesus said: “Then repay to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God.”

The Roman coin had the image of Caesar stamped upon it. Therefore, it belonged to Caesar.

And whose image is “stamped” upon me? God made me in His image (Genesis 1:26). Therefore, I belong to Him.

But, unlike Caesar, God does not force me. He lets me choose.

Am I willing to give myself to the One whose image I bear? Am I willing to give myself to God?

Discuss...

#100DaysToOffload (No. 179) #faith #Christianity

I should preface these notes by saying I feel I have struggled with prayer most of my life, especially as I have gotten older. Latter-day Saints believe in praying “from the heart,” as in no written or rote prayers except in the case of prayers said when ordinances are performed.

I know the form of prayer as taught in the LDS church, and I know what to say vocally in settings like church meetings when public prayer is expected.

But personal prayer has been hard for me. Sometimes I am focused and the prayer is heartfelt. Most of the time my thoughts wander and I feel like I am mostly asking for what I want rather than truly praying to God.

LDS tend to avoid saying rote prayers, especially repetitive prayers like the Rosary, which they would say is “vain repetition.” But w hen I came to see written prayers as merely hymns without music, I no longer had problems with them.

And I have come to understand that repetition in prayer (the few times I have attempted saying a Rosary or when I say the Our Father at times during my day) can actually help draw my thoughts heavenward and keep my mind from wandering if I am intentional about it.

It is not repetition, but vain repetition that is warned against in Matthew 6:7. Blabbing gibberish or repeating words for the sake of repetition without any thought or intention behind them is not good. Jesus is trying to teach us there that the sheer volume of words does not ensure that God hears us.

Repeating prayers with purpose of heart and “real intent,” as Latter-day Saints would say, has precedence in the Bible.

In the New Testament, it is recorded that Jesus prayed the same words multiple times in the Garden of Gethsemane. (Mark 14:39)

Many Psalms contain repetitive phrases.

Revelation 4:8 speaks of four “beasts” (angels) and that “they rest not day and night, saying, Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come.” Probably one of the ultimate examples of how repetitive prayer, when done properly, is not in vain.

What is appealing to me about Catholic prayer life is beautiful written prayers that demand my attention and reverence for God – especially if I am reading them aloud.

So here are some thoughts on prayer from one perspective on the Catholic Answers Live podcast:

Don't approach prayer as transactional.

Don't try to “fill” the prayer with activity.

Be more attentive to God – don't obsess over the prayer itself.

There are three types of prayer:

• Vocal – this is where we start. The “Our Father” is prime example. Christ prayed vocally throughout his ministry, in the Garden of Gethsemane, on the cross, etc.
• Meditative – using the mind to focus intently on godly things
• Contemplative – the height of prayer. Beyond speaking to or focusing on God, but spending time with Him.

When doing vocal or meditative prayer, if you find yourself invited into contemplative prayer, don't worry about “finishing” the vocal or meditative prayer – contemplative prayer is the goal.

All three types of prayer are important.

We cannot pray at all times if we do not pray at specific times.

Prayer is about giving God all of ourselves.

How we pray and how we live are closely related.

Discuss...

#100DaysToOffload (No. 176) #faith #Christianity #prayer

Latter-day Saints believe that we can know we have been forgiven of our sins when we have truly repented and we feel peace and joy through the Holy Ghost. Forgiveness comes only after repentance. (Repentance is a whole other topic in and of itself, perhaps for another blog post.)

With Catholics, repentance is also a factor in forgiveness, but they also have the Sacrament of Reconciliation – confessing your sins to a priest and the priest pronouncing your absolution. The priest himself is not the one doing the forgiving, but he is acting on behalf of Jesus Christ and represents the Church.

The struggle I'm having with the LDS view is whether feelings of peace and joy are a reliable sign that you have indeed been forgiven of sins. Can you feel like you've been forgiven when you really haven't? How can you know for sure? LDS bishops and stake presidents do not have the authority to forgive sins. They can counsel with you, give advice, and tell you they think you have sufficiently repented and been forgiven, but they don't know for sure. It is ultimately between you and God.

The certainty of the Catholic approach is appealing to me. They believe the passage in John 20:19-23 is clear evidence that Jesus Christ gave his apostles authority to forgive sins. Specifically verse 23: “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” (NRSVCE) They believe the apostles gave that same authority to bishops, who gave that authority to priests, and so on down through the ages.

So, as a Catholic, if you have sincere sorrow for your sins and desire to turn away from them, give a verbal confession of grave sins to a priest, perform a penance assigned by the priest, and receive absolution from the priest in the name of Christ, you can have certainty that you are – in that moment – forgiven, regardless of whether you personally feel peace and joy or not.

Can Reconciliation be abused? Sure. But the LDS model can, too.

I think any believing, practicing Catholic or Latter-day Saint who is sincerely seeking to follow Jesus Christ would tell you that intentionally committing a sin with the idea that you will repent later is wrong. But it happens among members of both churches.

But the Catholic Sacrament of Reconciliation seems to me like a better model with clearer feedback as to your standing with God. Regardless of whether or not you feel forgiven, you are forgiven. You can know that you are starting with a clean slate in that moment.

Whereas with the LDS model, you must hope and trust that you are forgiven even when you don't feel peace and joy through the Holy Spirit. Or you could be suffering tremendous guilt and anxiety for a sin for which you have indeed been forgiven because you still don't feel like you have been forgiven. Or you could feel peace and joy and assume it means you have been forgiven when you actually have not been.

Some sins can take a long time, even a lifetime of work to overcome. There is space in each tradition to acknowledge and accommodate this. Regardless of either church's doctrine and practice, I believe that God knows us. He knows our heart, and He takes all our desires and circumstances into account.

The underlying question for me on this topic and in my investigation over the past year is: which church can best help me to become more like Jesus Christ? That's a question I am still actively wrestling with.

Discuss...

#100DaysToOffload (No. 172) #faith #Christianity

I decided to go to the Saturday 5pm Mass. Although I am not Catholic, I have learned enough to know that Saturday evening Mass satisifes the Catholic obligation to attend Mass every Sunday. Sundays are complicated for me right now, as I am still attending Latter-day Saint meetings and the times for my ward overlap with the 10am Sunday Mass times at my local Catholic Parish.

I wanted to go early. I was anxious and I wanted to have time to find my seat and settle down a bit – to direct my attention heavenward. I live only a five minute drive from the parish (what are the odds of that in Utah?). I left at 4:30pm.

A small chorus of seven women along with two guitarists and one pianist were singing through some of the songs that I later learned would be sung during the Mass. It was lovely music and set a familiar tone, as I am used to prelude music being played before LDS sacrament meetings.

The building was constructed in 2005, so while the nave (or what LDS would call the chapel where the pews and such are) is not very ornate like an older Catholic church might be, it feels like a sacred space and it is peaceful.

I watched people come in and bow, genuflect, and/or make the sign of the cross before taking their seats. I recognized a couple of men who have been helping to teach the inquiry and pre-catechumen classes I have been attending at the parish. Oh yeah...I should probably write a post about that development, haha.

Before the services, a woman made some announcements. At one point she was interrupted by loud feedback from the sound system as mics were turned on – I just cringed with everyone else and smiled as I have lost track of how many times we have had sound issues in LDS sacrament meetings.

The Mass was lovely. I noticed the priest sang – or chanted as it is probably more accurate to say – certain parts of the mass, and the congregation would sing in reply. This is different from the Masses I have attended before.

Although I didn't always know what to say or sing at many points during the service, I followed a long as best I could. I am hoping that, as I get used to the form of the Mass and how things work, I will be able to pay more attention to the spiritual aspect.

The officiating priest this time was the priest from the Newman Center up at the university. He gave a lovely homily on sacrifice – how everything we have is from God and how we should sacrifice or offer a little of that back. And that when we do, God turns around and makes something amazing out of what we offer. He likened it to the Holy Eucharist – how, as Catholics affirm, during the Mass, the bread and wine become the body and blood of Jesus Christ. We offer the bread and wine, and God makes something amazing out of it. He asked us to consider “what am I offering?” I have been reflecting on that.

There were several opportunities for the congregation to sing during the Mass, and they had hymn numbers posted and hymnals. This is also something I wasn't used to – the main parish my parents attend is very large and rather than hymnals, they have screens that show lyrics for the songs. It was nice to be able to see notes so I could more easily follow along with the music. But I noticed that while I was trying to read the music, I wasn't paying attention to what was happening at the altar. Not everyone was singing, I suspect, for that reason. They were observing what was happening at the altar.

There were people of all ages and various ethnicitities. Lots of elderly folks, but there were also middle-age people like me, and a few families with young children. I expect Sunday Mass has the most in attendance – I hope to experience one of those soon.

Another thing I noticed: I didn't see a single smartphone. I saw people reading from physical copies of missals and hymn books and such. There might have been a few phones out, but I didn't see any. This is different from LDS meetings in my area where electronic devices are near ubiquitous. Speaking as one who has allowed myself to be distracted by my phone at church in the past, I decided before going to Mass that I would bring my phone but would not take it out once during the service. It was refreshing to see others doing the same.

After Mass, the gentlemen who teach the inquiry class came up to me and said hello. We chatted briefly and then I went home.

This was a big step for me. But I have been taking a lot of those lately.

I went to Mass by myself for the first time, but I wasn't alone. I saw many people who wanted to be in the presence of Jesus Christ and worship together. I am glad I went.

Discuss...

#100DaysToOffload (No. 169) #faith #Christianity

Psalm 27:14 (NRSVCE)

Though I wander in darkness I wait for the Lord

Though my heart is broken I wait for the Lord

Though I feel betrayed I wait for the Lord

Though I drown in confusion I wait for the Lord

Though my prayers feel unheard I wait for the Lord

Though He is silent I wait for the Lord

In my sorrow I wait for the Lord

In my pain I wait for the Lord

In my fear I wait for the Lord

In my doubt I wait for the Lord

In my Gethsemane I wait for the Lord

#100DaysToOffload (No. 162) #faith #poetry