I've attended Sunday Mass several times with my mother and step-dad at their parish, and I've gone to a few Saturday evening ones at mine, but I wanted to see what a Sunday Mass was like here.

It was well-attended, with lovely music, and beautifully-presented liturgy. The homily today was based mostly on the Gospel reading today, which was the “Parable of the Ten Virgins” from Matthew 25:1-13.

Jesus told his disciples this parable: “The kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones, when taking their lamps, brought no oil with them, but the wise brought flasks of oil with their lamps. Since the bridegroom was long delayed, they all became drowsy and fell asleep. At midnight, there was a cry, 'Behold, the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!' Then all those virgins got up and trimmed their lamps. The foolish ones said to the wise, 'Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.' But the wise ones replied, 'No, for there may not be enough for us and you. Go instead to the merchants and buy some for yourselves.' While they went off to buy it, the bridegroom came and those who were ready went into the wedding feast with him. Then the door was locked. Afterwards the other virgins came and said, 'Lord, Lord, open the door for us!' But he said in reply, 'Amen, I say to you, I do not know you.' Therefore, stay awake, for you know neither the day nor the hour.”

Father Shumway focused most of his remarks on being prepared for death and the role of Catholic Priests in performing the Sacrament of Anointing of the Sick for people who are gravely ill. It was a good homily and I learned a lot about the importance of this sacrament to Catholics.

I went to my LDS Stake Conference this afternoon thinking about that parable and its many meanings and symbolisms. Many of the talks given at this meeting were centered around the theme of keeping our focus on Jesus Christ.

As one speaker remarked, “we tend to go where we're looking,” and that seemed to encapsulate the theme nicely.

Are we looking – or trying to look – to Jesus Christ? Or is our gaze drawn elsewhere? (The answer to both questions for me is yes, but I'm trying to do better.)

It also got me thinking about the state of my own faith journey. I'm in this weird stage where I'm pretty seriously investigating Catholicism but still an actively practicing Latter-day Saint.

I am trying to take my time with my exploration of Catholicism because I know my personality. I tend to become fixated on things to the point of obsession, and I need to know for sure that this isn't just some other fixation.

Am I drawn towards Catholicism because that's where I've been looking much of the time for the past year? Because it's novel and new and exciting? When the novelty wears off, will I feel the same? Or is there something more, something real that is drawing me there?

One other thing from Stake Conference today. One of the speakers openly said he struggles with doubts about some things regarding Joseph Smith, church history, and church policy, but that as he keeps his focus on Jesus Christ, he feels peace and reassurance. It was refreshing for me to hear that, as I can absolutely relate.

So I will keep trying to look to Jesus Christ in the midst of this weird faith journey of mine. And I trust that I'll eventually go where I'm looking.

Discuss...

#100DaysToOffload (No. 197) #faith #Christianity

~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer, German theologian, pastor, anti-Nazi dissident (1906 – 1945)

#100DaysToOffload (No. 193) #quotes #faith #Christianity

I think this question really has another question implied within it. It's not just about whether we can know if we've been forgiven, but also about whether we can know if we have truly repented. Even if forgiveness is certain, it will be of little consequence if we have not repented. We'll just go and commit the same sin again.

Latter-day Saints have a scripture that is pretty clear on the repentance question:

Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more. By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them. (D&C 58:42-43)

For Latter-day Saints, confessing sins usually means admitting to yourself that you have sinned and confessing your sins to God in sincere prayer. And in cases of serious sin, confessing it to the bishop of your ward.

To forsake a sin is more than just not committing the sin again. It's renouncing it. Abandoning it. Turning entirely away from it.

Our internal disposition has much to do with the process of repentance, of course, and it is important. But for Latter-day Saints, confessing and forsaking our sins is a sure way to know whether one has repented.

Now about the forgiveness question. In my last post about this, I was fixated on one aspect of the LDS perspective – that we can know God has forgiven us when we have truly repented (see above) and when we feel feelings of peace and joy through the Holy Spirit. I think that can be true, but I worry that feelings can also be misleading – that we can “feel” we have been forgiven when we truly haven't.

And so I have been interested in the Catholic sacrament of Reconciliation. From the Catholic perspective, when you confess your sins to a Catholic priest acting on behalf of Jesus Christ and he pronounces the words of absolution, you are truly forgiven, whether you feel you are forgiven or not. I find that certainty of God's forgiveness appealing.

But as I attended my LDS sacrament meeting today, as we prepared to partake of the Sacrament (of the Lord's Supper), I had a powerful moment of realization: the Sacrament is what provides certainty of God's forgiveness for Latter-day Saints.

LDS believe that partaking of the Sacrament constitutes a renewal of the covenants you have made with God, including the covenant of baptism for the remission of sins. In fact, LDS often mention specifically in sacrament meeting talks and prayers that the Sacrament represents a renewal of the baptismal covenant.

A very basic way to think about a covenant from a LDS perspective is that it is a two-way promise between us and God.

LDS believe that when we are baptized, we covenant with God to:

• Take upon ourselves the name of Jesus Christ
• Keep God's commandments
• Serve God and others

And God covenants with us that:

• His Holy Spirit will always be with us
• Our sins are forgiven through the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ

Catholics believe Reconciliation is a tangible, outward act providing certainty that God has forgiven you of sins, regardless of whether or not you feel forgiven. For Latter-day Saints, the ordinance of the Sacrament (of the Lord's Supper), in conjunction with sincere repentance, provides that same certainty.

Discuss...

#100DaysToOffload (No. 186) #faith #Christianity

The Pharisees once asked Jesus if it was lawful to pay taxes to Caesar (Matthew 22:15-21). Jesus responded by asking them whose image was on the Roman coin used to pay the taxes. They replied that the image was Caesar's. And Jesus said: “Then repay to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God.”

The Roman coin had the image of Caesar stamped upon it. Therefore, it belonged to Caesar.

And whose image is “stamped” upon me? God made me in His image (Genesis 1:26). Therefore, I belong to Him.

But, unlike Caesar, God does not force me. He lets me choose.

Am I willing to give myself to the One whose image I bear? Am I willing to give myself to God?

Discuss...

#100DaysToOffload (No. 179) #faith #Christianity

I should preface these notes by saying I feel I have struggled with prayer most of my life, especially as I have gotten older. Latter-day Saints believe in praying “from the heart,” as in no written or rote prayers except in the case of prayers said when ordinances are performed.

I know the form of prayer as taught in the LDS church, and I know what to say vocally in settings like church meetings when public prayer is expected.

But personal prayer has been hard for me. Sometimes I am focused and the prayer is heartfelt. Most of the time my thoughts wander and I feel like I am mostly asking for what I want rather than truly praying to God.

LDS tend to avoid saying rote prayers, especially repetitive prayers like the Rosary, which they would say is “vain repetition.” But w hen I came to see written prayers as merely hymns without music, I no longer had problems with them.

And I have come to understand that repetition in prayer (the few times I have attempted saying a Rosary or when I say the Our Father at times during my day) can actually help draw my thoughts heavenward and keep my mind from wandering if I am intentional about it.

It is not repetition, but vain repetition that is warned against in Matthew 6:7. Blabbing gibberish or repeating words for the sake of repetition without any thought or intention behind them is not good. Jesus is trying to teach us there that the sheer volume of words does not ensure that God hears us.

Repeating prayers with purpose of heart and “real intent,” as Latter-day Saints would say, has precedence in the Bible.

In the New Testament, it is recorded that Jesus prayed the same words multiple times in the Garden of Gethsemane. (Mark 14:39)

Many Psalms contain repetitive phrases.

Revelation 4:8 speaks of four “beasts” (angels) and that “they rest not day and night, saying, Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come.” Probably one of the ultimate examples of how repetitive prayer, when done properly, is not in vain.

What is appealing to me about Catholic prayer life is beautiful written prayers that demand my attention and reverence for God – especially if I am reading them aloud.

So here are some thoughts on prayer from one perspective on the Catholic Answers Live podcast:

Don't approach prayer as transactional.

Don't try to “fill” the prayer with activity.

Be more attentive to God – don't obsess over the prayer itself.

There are three types of prayer:

• Vocal – this is where we start. The “Our Father” is prime example. Christ prayed vocally throughout his ministry, in the Garden of Gethsemane, on the cross, etc.
• Meditative – using the mind to focus intently on godly things
• Contemplative – the height of prayer. Beyond speaking to or focusing on God, but spending time with Him.

When doing vocal or meditative prayer, if you find yourself invited into contemplative prayer, don't worry about “finishing” the vocal or meditative prayer – contemplative prayer is the goal.

All three types of prayer are important.

We cannot pray at all times if we do not pray at specific times.

Prayer is about giving God all of ourselves.

How we pray and how we live are closely related.

Discuss...

#100DaysToOffload (No. 176) #faith #Christianity #prayer

Latter-day Saints believe that we can know we have been forgiven of our sins when we have truly repented and we feel peace and joy through the Holy Ghost. Forgiveness comes only after repentance. (Repentance is a whole other topic in and of itself, perhaps for another blog post.)

With Catholics, repentance is also a factor in forgiveness, but they also have the Sacrament of Reconciliation – confessing your sins to a priest and the priest pronouncing your absolution. The priest himself is not the one doing the forgiving, but he is acting on behalf of Jesus Christ and represents the Church.

The struggle I'm having with the LDS view is whether feelings of peace and joy are a reliable sign that you have indeed been forgiven of sins. Can you feel like you've been forgiven when you really haven't? How can you know for sure? LDS bishops and stake presidents do not have the authority to forgive sins. They can counsel with you, give advice, and tell you they think you have sufficiently repented and been forgiven, but they don't know for sure. It is ultimately between you and God.

The certainty of the Catholic approach is appealing to me. They believe the passage in John 20:19-23 is clear evidence that Jesus Christ gave his apostles authority to forgive sins. Specifically verse 23: “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” (NRSVCE) They believe the apostles gave that same authority to bishops, who gave that authority to priests, and so on down through the ages.

So, as a Catholic, if you have sincere sorrow for your sins and desire to turn away from them, give a verbal confession of grave sins to a priest, perform a penance assigned by the priest, and receive absolution from the priest in the name of Christ, you can have certainty that you are – in that moment – forgiven, regardless of whether you personally feel peace and joy or not.

Can Reconciliation be abused? Sure. But the LDS model can, too.

I think any believing, practicing Catholic or Latter-day Saint who is sincerely seeking to follow Jesus Christ would tell you that intentionally committing a sin with the idea that you will repent later is wrong. But it happens among members of both churches.

But the Catholic Sacrament of Reconciliation seems to me like a better model with clearer feedback as to your standing with God. Regardless of whether or not you feel forgiven, you are forgiven. You can know that you are starting with a clean slate in that moment.

Whereas with the LDS model, you must hope and trust that you are forgiven even when you don't feel peace and joy through the Holy Spirit. Or you could be suffering tremendous guilt and anxiety for a sin for which you have indeed been forgiven because you still don't feel like you have been forgiven. Or you could feel peace and joy and assume it means you have been forgiven when you actually have not been.

Some sins can take a long time, even a lifetime of work to overcome. There is space in each tradition to acknowledge and accommodate this. Regardless of either church's doctrine and practice, I believe that God knows us. He knows our heart, and He takes all our desires and circumstances into account.

The underlying question for me on this topic and in my investigation over the past year is: which church can best help me to become more like Jesus Christ? That's a question I am still actively wrestling with.

Discuss...

#100DaysToOffload (No. 172) #faith #Christianity

I decided to go to the Saturday 5pm Mass. Although I am not Catholic, I have learned enough to know that Saturday evening Mass satisifes the Catholic obligation to attend Mass every Sunday. Sundays are complicated for me right now, as I am still attending Latter-day Saint meetings and the times for my ward overlap with the 10am Sunday Mass times at my local Catholic Parish.

I wanted to go early. I was anxious and I wanted to have time to find my seat and settle down a bit – to direct my attention heavenward. I live only a five minute drive from the parish (what are the odds of that in Utah?). I left at 4:30pm.

A small chorus of seven women along with two guitarists and one pianist were singing through some of the songs that I later learned would be sung during the Mass. It was lovely music and set a familiar tone, as I am used to prelude music being played before LDS sacrament meetings.

The building was constructed in 2005, so while the nave (or what LDS would call the chapel where the pews and such are) is not very ornate like an older Catholic church might be, it feels like a sacred space and it is peaceful.

I watched people come in and bow, genuflect, and/or make the sign of the cross before taking their seats. I recognized a couple of men who have been helping to teach the inquiry and pre-catechumen classes I have been attending at the parish. Oh yeah...I should probably write a post about that development, haha.

Before the services, a woman made some announcements. At one point she was interrupted by loud feedback from the sound system as mics were turned on – I just cringed with everyone else and smiled as I have lost track of how many times we have had sound issues in LDS sacrament meetings.

The Mass was lovely. I noticed the priest sang – or chanted as it is probably more accurate to say – certain parts of the mass, and the congregation would sing in reply. This is different from the Masses I have attended before.

Although I didn't always know what to say or sing at many points during the service, I followed a long as best I could. I am hoping that, as I get used to the form of the Mass and how things work, I will be able to pay more attention to the spiritual aspect.

The officiating priest this time was the priest from the Newman Center up at the university. He gave a lovely homily on sacrifice – how everything we have is from God and how we should sacrifice or offer a little of that back. And that when we do, God turns around and makes something amazing out of what we offer. He likened it to the Holy Eucharist – how, as Catholics affirm, during the Mass, the bread and wine become the body and blood of Jesus Christ. We offer the bread and wine, and God makes something amazing out of it. He asked us to consider “what am I offering?” I have been reflecting on that.

There were several opportunities for the congregation to sing during the Mass, and they had hymn numbers posted and hymnals. This is also something I wasn't used to – the main parish my parents attend is very large and rather than hymnals, they have screens that show lyrics for the songs. It was nice to be able to see notes so I could more easily follow along with the music. But I noticed that while I was trying to read the music, I wasn't paying attention to what was happening at the altar. Not everyone was singing, I suspect, for that reason. They were observing what was happening at the altar.

There were people of all ages and various ethnicitities. Lots of elderly folks, but there were also middle-age people like me, and a few families with young children. I expect Sunday Mass has the most in attendance – I hope to experience one of those soon.

Another thing I noticed: I didn't see a single smartphone. I saw people reading from physical copies of missals and hymn books and such. There might have been a few phones out, but I didn't see any. This is different from LDS meetings in my area where electronic devices are near ubiquitous. Speaking as one who has allowed myself to be distracted by my phone at church in the past, I decided before going to Mass that I would bring my phone but would not take it out once during the service. It was refreshing to see others doing the same.

After Mass, the gentlemen who teach the inquiry class came up to me and said hello. We chatted briefly and then I went home.

This was a big step for me. But I have been taking a lot of those lately.

I went to Mass by myself for the first time, but I wasn't alone. I saw many people who wanted to be in the presence of Jesus Christ and worship together. I am glad I went.

Discuss...

#100DaysToOffload (No. 169) #faith #Christianity

Sister Leticia Ugboaja was released the next day, but only after parish officials posted her story on social media and it gained traction in the news, leading to intervention of members of the United States Congress on her behalf.

ICE, of course, refuse to comment on the incident. But this is not the first time ICE agents have arrested someone who was in the very act of exercising their religious freedom. There are numerous accounts of ICE raids in and around places of worship. And who knows how many people who have been arrested in this manner may still be in ICE concentration camps without the intervention of members of Congress on their behalf.

This story had me asking myself: can we truly have religious liberty in a country with a federal government that can and does infringe on other rights every day?

On the last Sunday in May of this year (2026), congregations in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the United States had a special lesson on the principles of the Declaration of Independence and the United States Constitution, with an emphasis on the importance of religious liberty.

LDS Church leaders have also asked that all members engage in a special fast on Sunday July 5th, 2026 to “express gratitude for religious liberty and to pray that it be strengthened throughout the world.”

I believe this is indeed a worthwhile and good cause for a fast. But this call rings hollow for me because of the Church's near silence when it comes to attacks on other God-given, Constitutionally protected rights in the United States and elsewhere. If we believe, as the Founding Father did, that all our rights come from God, and that it is the duty of government to protect those rights, why does LDS church leadership not consistently speak out when any of those rights are infringed and declare the doctrine of Jesus Christ on such matters?

This coming Sunday, I will be fasting not just for religious freedom, but for ALL our God-given rights to be protected from this madness. Because, religious liberty is really just liberty, and all rights are in need of protection.

Discuss...

#100DaysToOffload (No. 161) #faith #Christianity #politics

Sometimes I feel like I need to get out of my house an go to a place where my thoughts and intentions can be drawn to God and to holy things. To turn my attention to Jesus Christ. To be still.

LDS meetinghouses are only open for worship on Sundays, and Sacrament meetings are crowded and focused on the ordinance of the Sacrament.

LDS chapels (the main gathering rooms where we have Sacrament Meeting) are nice, but plain and functional. Little to no ornamentation, no religious art or imagery of any kind. And outside of Sacrament Meetings and other meetings like conferences or devotionals, LDS chapels sit closed to the public, dark, and vacant. Even on Sundays, you don't really see people quietly sitting in the chapel unless they are waiting for a meeting to start or a meeting has just ended. If there's not a meeting in the chapel, you are expected to be elsewhere.

Instead, LDS are encouraged and expected to go to the temple during the week. Temples are different from meetinghouses. We go to temples to perform what we believe are sacred ordinances, first for ourselves, and thereafter on behalf of our ancestors and the deceased. We believe that through our participation in these ordinances, we enter into covenants with God that – as long as we remain faithful to them – qualify us for eventual exaltation in the hereafter (becoming like God and living with God and our families forever in the eternities).

But you cannot go inside temples and participate in these ordinances unless you are a member of the church and have a Temple Recommend – proof that you have been interviewed by local church leaders and are deemed worthy to enter.

And even if you have a Temple Recommend, you go to the temple to work and serve. You are either participating in ordinances or waiting to do so. Unless one is a temple worker (someone who has a calling or assignment to serve in the temple and assist temple patrons), one does not usually go to straight the Celestial Room (considered one of the holiest and most sacred rooms in the temple) if one wishes to just sit and pray and meditate.

Maybe this is just due to my own misunderstanding of what is appropriate for a temple patron to do, but I would personally feel awkward entering the temple without the intention of participating in any proxy ordinances. To just be still and to think and to pray. I'm not saying it is impossible to do these things during temple service, just that we're expected to be doing other things, as well.

But again, only members of the church who have a Temple Recommend may enter the temple. For this reason, and because our chapels are not open during the week, many members and non-members alike go to the temple to walk the grounds. The beautiful temple building and well-manicured grounds are indeed a wonderful setting for meditation, reflection, and prayer. I have done this, myself. However, weather conditions are not always agreeable. And some days, the temple grounds can be bustling with activity and people when there are weddings (sealings) and such.

A couple more things about temples. While the church has accelerated temple construction to provide easier access to as many members of the church as possible, there are still many members of the church who live more than an hour driving distance away from them.

Temples are also closed on Sundays and Mondays, holidays, and for several weeks each year for cleaning.

Sometimes going out in nature can also be a wonderful way to connect with God. I enjoy doing this. But weather conditions are a factor here, too, as well as travel time depending on how far away you want to get from...everything.

We can and should learn to pray and contemplate and connect with God in our homes and, really, wherever we are. And I strive to do this, with much room for improvement. But sometimes I just want to get out of the house, away from my distractions, to a holy place with no other expectations of me than to just be. To be still and know that He is God.

And this is one of the many things that draws me to Catholicism. Catholic churches are open to the public most days if not every day. Weather is not usually a factor. Many of them even hold daily Mass. I'm sure they have events and things that need to be planned around, but if you just want to go sit in a holy, quiet place for a while and just be, there's a good chance you can. You don't even have to be Catholic. They don't check at the door.

Discuss...

#100DaysToOffload (No. 160) #faith #Christianity

I think returning to Twitch has been a good thing, overall, as it has allowed me to reconnect with good friends I have made there and interact on some level socially with others. It has also reminded me how much I love and need music and enjoy sharing it with others.

It's also been a good creative outlet, so I feel less of a need to use my blog for that purpose. But I know I need to find a good balance – all things in moderation.

It would be easy to just throw up my hands and say “what's the point?” But I can't deny that I am in a better place with my faith now than before I started my Lenten observance. So it's been worth it.

A favorite passage from the Book of Mormon comes to mind, sometimes called “Nephi's Psalm,” that I can relate to so much.

Behold, my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.

Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.

I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.

And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.

My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.

He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.

He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me.

Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the night-time.

And by day have I waxed bold in mighty prayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me.

And upon the wings of his Spirit hath my body been carried away upon exceedingly high mountains. And mine eyes have beheld great things, yea, even too great for man; therefore I was bidden that I should not write them.

O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?

And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?

Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.

Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.

Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation.

O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin?

May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I may walk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!

O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine enemies! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way—but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy.

O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.

Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen.

I often read and reflect on this passage when I feel upset about my own failings and shortcomings – when I know that I still desire in my heart to be like Jesus but am forced to recognize how far short I am, and how much more I still need to change.

Sometimes I despair. But then I hope. Because I trust in Jesus Christ. Because I know that God is still reaching for me and I can keep reaching for Him.

“I know in whom I have trusted.”

Discuss...

#100DaysToOffload (No. 159) #faith #Lent #Christianity