Avoidance List
The past few days have been a bit of a blur. When I wasn't working I was gaming or watching Twitch, TV, or movies. Oh, and I streamed for a few hours on my Twitch DJ channel for the first time this year. I'm avoiding. Coping.
Some things I am avoiding:
- exercising regularly
- eating healthy
- fixing some things around the house and cleaning up my yard
- blogging consistently, and more about current events and politics from my perspective as a Christian and believer in nonviolence
- figuring out my relationship with God
- reading more books
- practicing my musical instruments
- accelerating my adoption of free and open technologies
- making and sticking to a monthly budget
- communicating with family and loved ones
- continuing my education
- working out an idea I have for an app and website
- making friends in my local area
- letting go of some material things I don't need
- doing a proper digital detox
- keeping a journal
- seeing a therapist
Some things I am coping with:
- loved ones and friends who suffer relentless mental and/or physical pain with no relief
- nagging doubts about my faith
- a complete lack of interest in my mind-numbing job
- financial worries
- personal health worries
- church responsibilities
- Twitch drama
- my country being destroyed by an authoritarian regime
- people hating and harming other people
I know that, all things considered, I have it pretty good. So why do I feel so bad?
Why can't I just pick a couple things from the list of things I feel I ought to be doing and just do them? It's like every time I try to start up, things eventually fizzle out and I slip back into old patterns and processes.
It occurs to me that some of the things I'm avoiding would help me cope better with the heavy things weighing on me.
I've got to keep trying.
#100DaysToOffload (No. 128) #life #mentalHealth #faith