Dallineation

Today I watched “Francis of Assisi” – a 1961 film about the story of Saint Francis. I managed to find a free low-resolution version the film on YouTube. It was difficult to get into because it was very dated “Hollywood” in its style and acting, but when I started thinking of it as more of a grandiose stage play, it became easier to watch in that context.

I came away from it with a greater appreciation for St. Francis. But I also saw in the YouTube comments on the video that Dolores Hart, the actress who played Clare, became a Catholic nun two years after the film's initial release.

I also discovered a short documentary about Hart called “God is the Bigger Elvis” (a reference to her co-starring with Elvis Presley in the film “Loving You”) and I also found and watched it on YouTube. What a neat woman and beautiful story.

While my church doesn't have monastic orders like nuns or monks, I've long had a profound respect for people who choose to live such a life consecrated to God.

I've sometimes thought about what it would be for me to live in such a way. I've often felt like forsaking all my worldly possessions and living a life of poverty and devotion to God.

Catholics have this concept of a “Vocation” – entry into the priesthood or a religious order like nuns or monks

In modern society, the word vocation has become another word for career. But I have always felt that a vocation is more than just a career. It can be a career, of course. But I happen to have found my way into my current career mostly out of expediency, not because it's something I have ever felt I was meant or drawn to do.

A vocation is something one feels a strong desire to do – a calling to do. And I have long been trying to figure out what my vocation is.

Today an idea resurfaced that I have considered many times over the past six months or so:

Maybe I could be a chaplain.

A neighbor of mine and member of my ward has been studying to become a chaplain and she has spoken about it in church. I had never considered being a chaplain before, but as I have thought about it, I feel it's something I would find deeply meaningful and fulfilling.

It's also something that would be extremely difficult and I would need to be well-anchored in my faith, as well as avail myself of a therapist and other means of coping with the difficult and sometimes horrible circumstances and situations I would be exposed to in such a vocation.

My church has a web page with information about being a chaplain and I have reviewed much of the material there. I have always thought of chaplains being for the military, but they are in a lot of different places, from hospitals, to prisons, even universities. There is still much I don't know. But I'd like to learn more.

Whatever my vocation, I want to be able to help people. To give them hope. To help them to know they are loved.

Maybe going through this time of spiritual distress and searching has been necessary so that I can empathize with and relate to and minister to others experiencing the same.

Discuss...

#100DaysToOffload (No. 148) #faith #Lent